The Dark Night of the Soul

Ranee Valdez • May 20, 2023

The Purpose of this Phase

image of mist and cloud over green treed hills

A "Dark Night of the Soul" is a period that invokes a lot of intense, usually negative, emotions and because of that it is usually regarded only for its struggle. Everything we face holds a purpose and this stage of life is no exception. A Dark Night can be provoked by an event that is traumatic like a break up, loss of a loved one, struggles with faith, being fired, betrayal and many other things. The best way to describe the start of this journey is a heavy emptiness inside yourself.


The empty feeling usually occurs because of this massive jolt that happens outside of us and forces us to take a look at our inner world. We get pushed into this abandoned area of ourselves and our old distractions can no longer pull us out. Abandoned areas tend to have that eerie emptiness, and somewhere in life we had abandoned this part of ourselves and created that within.


Once we start to explore this inner world we find many things, some we like and some we fear, but the one thing that always happens is we learn profound truths about ourselves. We grow an awareness not to just how we view the world but the "why" behind it. You learn that certain personality traits or habits actually stem from a survival skill meant to keep you safe. You feel emotions that have been suppressed and for the first time actually allow your body to release them. You get to explore parts of yourself that you forgot existed; some that you miss and some you have been running from.


In the midst of all this knowledge you learn the most empowering thing possible, that you have the power to choose. All of these things that were lingering within are now exposed and you get the opportunity to choose if they serve your well being or not. If you decide they don't then you now have the power to change it; but on the other hand if they do you get the opportunity to be grateful and love them, and in turn yourself, deeper. This is when it finally dawns on you, you have the power to choose who you want to be in life!


There is definitely a duality to the Dark Night because in order to feel powerful you first experience a weakness that breaks you. We have all heard the phrase "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" and this is a theme for this phase of life. The absence of faith, power, clarity, direction, hope, love, or peace are just some of what you may experience during this time. You lose what you're searching for in order to realize it was within you all along, you just were blind to it.


Fortunately this is a period of transformation, one that exposes the unhealthy aspects of ourselves causing a temporary pain. This is a time when God is healing you but in order to heal He must first reveal to you what is causing the illness. This is only the beginning of a beautiful journey and you may not always know the right steps to take but as long as continue forward you will make it to your destination.


The Only Way Out is Through.

~Robert Frost



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